Okay, I haven’t wrote in a while, damn. Theres a lot, hope I remember it all:

-Sarah’s back..

- Carlie’s brother has a crush on me :|

- Sarah’s house is haunted

- Jayden DID smash Katie’s car light

Yes, Sarah is back… They let her out of the mental hospital.

We also found out Sarah’s house is haunted. I think its cause they play with quiji boards. Thats like an open door for spirits. Once, they found blood at the bottom of their shower :| and took a picture I saw it. The water came out red I guess when the shower was turned on. Doors randomly open, whenever Sarah starts to have an episode the house begins to smell like sulphur. Crazy things go on in that house. 

My Uncle is the producer/director of the TV show ‘Rescue Mediums’  (him and another man own it together) If you haven’t seen it, there are 2 mediums -Jackie and Allison who go into the house, contact the spirits and help them go into the light. 

The mediums are legit, I’ve met them and it freaked me out a little bit cause they are very.. talented. I suppose thats the best way of putting it.

Anyways I hope they can help Sarah. We’re putting them on the show :)

So Carlies brother… Carlie told me he tells his family at dinner how “hot” I am and how good I look it tights…wow thats embarassing.

BTW Carlie introduced me to a friend of hers from church and before introducing me, she told me not to swear so much around the girl.

am i that bad? hahahha 

We know Jayden smashed the light because he was drunk one night and told a friend of ours, he doesnt remember telling her apparently and he doesnt know that we know.

Going to the bar with Katie and Max and Joey and ppl tomorrow ( a country bar) I hope Joey doesnt pull anything. Max doesnt like him being around me, I know it. But I think Joey backs off when Max is around.

xo

I’ve been in bed all day lol, Max left at 3:00 am. We hungout from 5pm - 3am crazy..

It was nice. We rented land of the lost. fucking weird movie :| not sure if I liked it. Then when it was over I saw that planes, trains and automobiles was on TV and Max had never seen it before so I put it on. He thought it was funny. 

And then typically we passed out on the couch. Max is funny when he’s snoring. He’s in denial about even snoring in the first place and that makes me laugh.

Well I have tones of homework its insane. Better go..

I have to write a comparative essay on the books ‘Of mice and men’ and ‘The pearl” 

Kino kills his only son and George has to shoot his cousin in the head.

JUST the kind of book to make you want to write an essay… 

xo

okk..  So I had to stop writing last night cause Katie ran into the house and was like “LETS GO!” when she left work last night, she notices the light on her car was smashed :| 

So, yep.. who could it be? No one other than Jayden we think because he happened to be in the mall the day it happened.. AND he was by himself. BTW Jayden hates the mall.. hmm..

Max and I are going out for dinner tonight. The new indian restaurant downtown. I love it there, I hope Max does too. I’m pretty sure we’ll have the house to ourselves tonight, so maybe we’ll watch a movie and then go hangout in my room.

I better go take a shower. Katie stayed over last night and had to take hers first  before work so i needed to wait for hot water. Its already 1:00

BYE!

xo

Friday the 13th :o

So I found out what happened with the girl who hung herself on November 11th (I found out last night from someone) Yah.. she was being bullied by a couple of girls.. She was only 13 years old. Thats grade 8. It’s supposed to be a fun year for them.

She was the younger sister of a girl in my art class. They are really nice people. It’s going to ruin that family. 

She did it from the bannister of the stairs. her mother found her as soon as she walked in the door. I suppose thats why people say they would hear her mother screaming from down the street.

I dont understand why people bully.

why do people commit suicide, don’t they see what it does to people?

Suicide is a selfish act.

xx

Sarah was sent to **** [Heh.. sorry everyone.. I shouldn’t say where]

Thats THE mental hospital! 

They send criminally insane people there.. people who have done much worse than Sarah has..

It’s cause the police saw the whole pulling of the butchers knife on her mom situation occur..

I can’t believe this.

Anyways, on a lighter note:

I went to the mall with Carlie. It was fun. Bought a yellow sweater. Today was a good day. I also looked at watches for Max to give him for our one year. I think I’ll give him the pool cue for xmas.

ok, I’m watching Dexter now.

xo

Just so we know; as I was writing about Sarah last night, she was at home with the police and suddenly pulled a butchers knife on her mother. Thats when the police saw, arrested her and brought her to the hospital. They had to handcuff her to the bed because she kept running down the hospital halls screaming. 

Sarah might be going to jail. Carlie told me the other day that Sarah’s mom found an empty pizza box under her bed, an empty container of nutella in her closet and her little sister saw her eat a huge piece of cake out of the fridge. she also takes 5 halloween chocolate bars to bed every night and eats them all. I have noticed that Sarah has been getting bigger lately… she used to be smaller than Carlie and Carie is a very small girl. I think she told me once that she was 108 pounds. 

Anyways, Sarah is binge eating and we think it’s her way of proving she’s “fat”… this is out of control…

Katie told me whats been going on with her and Jayden. He went to her house on sunday and she was home alone. He started yelling at her calling her a c*nt, Whore, slut, crazy like her mom and grandmother ect.. He also said he’d have a new girlfriend by the end of this week. Then he said he wanted to punch her in the face and went outside and instead punched a dent in her car. 

He scared the living shit out of her. He was msging me on MSN last night and I flipped! I’m like: 

“okay, you better not go over to her house again, thats my cousin! and even hearing about what you did scares me” [Him and I were good friends] he admitted to doing everything katie said he did, he just wont leave her alone. I don’t want them to get back together again. 

Katie told me they are done but Jayden plans to get back with her again. Yah fuck that! he’s fucked in the head. I hope Max doesn’t snapp like that cause I fear he will I don’t think he will though he treats me like gold. I love him so much. I dont want to lose him, I swear he’s the best thing thats ever happened to me. He’s the only one who can make me happy right now. I suppose he came around at the perfect time then.

We’ll be celebrating 1 year together Dec.1st. I have it booked off of work, I can’t wait!

Im thinking of getting him a pool cue. He likes pool. And maybe a watch for xmas? agh fuck I dont knoww.. I better figure this out soon.

bye,

xx

I’ve always been one to show my true emotions but lately I’ve been having trouble. I’ve been faking smiles left, front and centre -and so far; the only person who can tell the difference between the real and fake ones is me.

But whenever I feel the ends of my mouth curl up, my heart sinks down into my stomach out of fear that they might know it isn’t fucking real. 

I didn’t really smile once today and just the thought of that scares the living shit out of me because I used to enjoy thinking of myself as a happy person. In fact, right before my parents told me they were getting a divorce I would think to myself “Im really lucky..” but now… I don’t know what to think cause everyone in this house is fucking miserable! 

By the way -katie and Jayden are over.. as of yesterday I believe. At least thats when it was “facebook official” 

How unusual and sad that 4 years of a relationship has gone down the drain. I’d like to ask her if she feels like it was a waste of time. i asked my mom that a few months ago; Her reply: No of course not, otherwise I wouldn’t have you and your brother! -she didn’t answer my question. 

She also mentioned that night that she felt pressured into having my brother. I didn’t want to hear all this..

Divorce is fucked right up! 

And so are relationships and marriage! and I write this as i notice on the TV are brides  choosing their dresses for their wedding day. They have no idea that maybe 10-20 years later they’ll be signing divorce papers and slowly becoming alcoholics. 

Yep, this is it. I’m 17 years old, my parents are getting a divorce and this is how I’m dealing with it. A diary where I’m free to write whatever I want.

xx

I’ve had a diary ever since early elementary school. 

I’m 19 and I’m ready to share what I have written down these past few years.

I’ll be providing dates -names will be changed but thats it.

My parents divorced only a few years ago -I didn’t take this well.

I met my current boyfriend when I was 16, perfect timing. 

Anyways,

I finally graduated highschool and didn’t look back once.

I haven’t started college yet but I plan on it soon.

So here I am..